It's my life

Easter...

2006-04-20T11:34:00.000-04:00

Matthew and I spent Easter with his family this year in Tennessee. I was sad to miss Kallista's first Easter but I had so much fun with his family. We died Easter eggs, played cards cooked dinner and just laid around the house. Everyone in his family asked us when we were gonna get married. That was awkward.

School's almost out and then I'll be working full time at the day care. I'm really excited about that because I love having my kids all the time. My director and I have been working for the past week or so to plan things to do with the kids over the summer. It'll be great to go three or so months without having to worry about tests or papers or anything. It'll also save me money not having to drive to Charlotte every day.

Matthew and I have a date tonight. I'm really excited because we dont get those often. We're going to dinner at La Fuente, however I would prefer Olive Garden since it opened last week!!!!!! I can't wait to eat there.

I'm sick today so I'm gonna get back to laying around.

2006-04-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

isn't it georgeous!?!? This is the wedding cake i want (whever i have the wedding) MAtt and I are spending Easter in Tenn with his family and I'm sooooo excited. I love his family.

Small group is going very well. Matt started a new study in the book of Daniel. It's very interesting.

Kallista is 11 months old now. I can't belive in less than a month she'll be a year old. It's so crazy!

Short post, but I have to get to work. Have a blessed day!

Where is the warm weather?

2006-03-28T10:47:00.000-05:00

This is a cute pic I found of me with Matt's papaw. He's such an amazing man of God. He's almost completely blind but Matt told him once that I had pretty eyes. He didn't tell him what color they were so one day Papaw stood outside in the sunlight for about 30 seconds looking in my eyes trying to see their color. Finally he said "blue." and ever since he's called me "Blue eyes."

Ok so it's almost April and it's still like 50 degrees outside. It's supposed to be warm now!!!! Anywho... I missed a lot of school last week due to sickness and flat tires and such. So I'm spending my days this week being studying to catch up.

The Small Group is going great. We've really grown a lot. We had two new girls last night from Belmont Abbey come and check it out. Afterwards we all went to dinner. There some drama happened but it's all in God's hands. Ray spoke last night about worry. He talked about how God tells us to take all of our worries and give them to Him. But that's not always easy. We has humans will give our worries to God and then take them back. Like "Ok God I'm giving my money situation to you" but then when God doesn't fix things the way we think He should or when we think He should we take it back an try to handle it ourselves again. Then when we mess up again we give it back to God. Then take it back. It seems like an endless cycle of giving and taking back. But the Bible says that we are supposed to give our worries to God once and for all and trust that He will take care of them. My prayer this week is that I can truely do that. That I can really give my worries such as money, relationships, family issues and such to God.

2006-03-20T19:49:00.000-05:00

Kallista can walk now!!!! Mom and I were keeping her this weekend and she just started walking all over our living room. She's getting soooooo big! Well I feel a lot better that I have been feeling. I didn't go to school at all today. I spent the day hanging out with my mom. Small Group went to the Sisters House of Mercy tonight in Belmont. It's a home for AIDS patients in Belmont. I couldn't go because of the rain. My mom doesn't want me to get sick again. But I love going there every time we go. It's so cool to see the people who are so sick and know that they haven't lived right but now they're turning their lives around. Some of these people are happier now on their death bed than they've ever been.

Short post, but I have some studying to do

Horrible Weekend

2006-03-19T11:51:00.000-05:00

This weekend sucked terribly. Yesterday Matt and I were supposed to go fishing in Denver but when I woke up I had strep throat. Niiiiiiiice. So I couldnt' go fishing. Luckily Tasha had it not to long ago and didn't take all of her medicine. So I'm taking the rest of it. Well to make matters worse Betsy's sister had planned a surprise birthday party for her last night so I couldn't go to that either. I had to miss my bestest friend's 21 birthday party. I couldn't go to church this morning because my throat still hurts. Kallista is staying here but I can't play with her. I haven't seen Matt in two days. But God is good and I know things will get better. Hope everyone has a blessed day! xoxo jen*

Sunshine and Summertime

2006-03-17T13:10:00.000-05:00

I've been listening to Doc Sommers Band a lot lately and came across this pic of me and Kelly with them. Anywho...

Matthew and I are going fishing tomorrow somewhere in Denver. I'm so excited because I haven't been fishing in a really long time. I even bought things to make sandwiches while we're there. One of his friends is home from college this weekend so tonight we're going over to her house to meet her. I love meeting all his friends and family. It's so exciting.

It's so nice outside today. Thankfully my kids don't have homework on Fridays so after they eat thir snack we will get to spend over an hour outside. I wish I didn't have to work and could just sit outside all day.

Mom and I sat on the front porch of our house a few days ago while Matt played catch with Dylan in the front yard. It brought back a lot of memories of sitting with my parents on that same porch eating ham sandwiches. Or just them sitting there and me in the yard climbing trees or something. It suddenly made me very sad that we're moving. I mean, that's the only house I've ever lived in. I knew I wouldn't live there forever but I always assumed that when I came home to see my mom it would be to that house. Now I'm packing up my whole life's memories and putting them in a tiny apartment. But my mom's excited about the move so I guess I need to stop being selfish and be happy for her. I think it all boils down to I wish that my daddy was still here so we could still afford that house and not ever have to give it up. I wish life was still the way it was a year and a hlaf ago and would always be that way. But That's selfish. I have a new life now and I need to accept that because that's what God wants for me.

Time to head to work. Hope everyone has a blessed day! xoxo jen*

Great Week so far

2006-03-15T18:16:00.000-05:00

It's been a really great week so far. Much better than Spring Break. I had a math test today and I finished in 15 minutes. So I either did really good or really bad. Hopefully really good. Matthew came by to see me today which was a special treat because we don't really get to see each other during the day. I'm going to his house tonight to cook him dinner.

Work was great today. We've had to people quit but ever since then things have been a lot more calm and we've had a lot less drama.

Time to go get started cooking. Hope everyone has a blessed day! xoxo jen*

2006-03-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

Three of the coolest people ever~Betsy matt and Ryan

2006-03-14T22:21:00.000-05:00

Matthew and I ;)

2006-03-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

Look how cute she is!!!!

Man it's been a while

2006-03-14T19:48:00.000-05:00

Well here we go again~I'm going to make a real effort to update this thing more regularly. So much has happened in my life since November. Where to begin...

Matthew and I are dating. We've been together for 3 months today and I love him soooo much. He's wonderful. I thank God every day for putting him in my life.

God is really moving in my life right now. He's showing me so much about love, patience, money and being an adult.

Kallista is georgeous. If I knew how to post pics on this thing I would but just take my word for it...she's so beautiful. She's walking now!!! I can't believe how big she's getting. She can take a good three or four steps before her head gains to much speed and she falls.

Work is great but stressful. I've been there four months now and I have developed great relationships with my kids. One in particular. His name is Will. He's two and drives me absolutley bananas but I love him as though he was my own child. He can't quite say my name so he calls me Finfer. Every time I walk in the room his face lights up and he runs up to me screaming "My finfer!" He doesn't have a great life and my heart breaks for him every time he goes home.

Pat and I aren't close anymore. He's gotten back into drinking and drugs. I'm praying every day that God will move in his life the way He did before. Ya'll be praying for Pat as well.

I've visited SWU once this semester with Matt boyfriend Matt and best friend Betsy. It was great to take my friends from home to see all my friends from SWU. While I still miss SWU I know now that Gastonia is where God wants me to be.

My family finally decided to move out of our house. We just can't afford it anymore without my dad there. Mom and I are getting an apartment and James is going to put a trailer on our dad's land. He's slowly working on clearing it out to put a house on it.

Small group is going great. Matt (My boyfriend hehe) is a great leader and God is doing great things in it. we've had drama but with God we're getting through it.

That's it for now. But like I said I'm gonna try to update more regularly. But God is awesome. Matt is awesome. My friends are awesome. I didn't want to come back to Gastonia, but now there's no place I would rather be.

2005-11-21T11:26:00.000-05:00

So this weekend was pretty eventful. Friday night I went to Patrick's house and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with him and Betsy. Wierdest movie ever. Saturday i spent the day with the fam cleaning house (story of my life) and playing with my neice. Saturday night Patrick and I met up with the folks from our small group at Matthew's house to eat supper. Baked spaghetti...it was soooooo good. Then we went to the movies and bought our tickets for the Harry Potter movie 2 hrs in advance. What did we do with the remaining 2 hrs before the movie started? caused all kinds of chaos in books-a-million. it was so much fun. After we all secured our seats in the theatre (i sat between pat and matt) the previews began to roll and BANG! the power goes out. Pat sees this as the perfect opportunity to draw attention to himself and storms out of the theatre and demands to get his money back. EVERYONE was staring at him...betsy and i refused to claim him as our friend after that episode. but anywho...the movie was good. looooong...but good. I got home about 2 am and went straight to sleep. after about 4 hrs of sleep i woke up sunday at 6 30 and took my mom to work. then returned home to get ready for church. church was good~but the nap after was awesome. then bill and i had to rush to the hospital in shelby because Tasha had been taken there in an ambulance from work. apparently she pulled a muscle in her heart and can't go back until next weekend. then last night matt called me and invited me to a bible study that he's involved in with the band Variation 180. Awesome band and awesome bible study. we all had a great time eating cookies, drinking milk and coffee and talking about conviction and the different things God has done in our lives. I'm super tired today and feel as if I'm getting sick. Let's hope not with finals around the corner and a trip to the mts scheduled for december. for now i need to go prepare for my debate in history class~oh how i do love arguing with people.

2005-11-16T10:10:00.000-05:00

I was awakened this morning by a five year old asking me to make him some oatmeal at 6 freakin 30. Needless to say I'm not in a good mood. So bill and tasha are mostly settled in the house now. I walked in the bathroom yesterday morning to get ready and there was SO MUCH STUFF in it. I don't know how we're gonna survive sharing a bathroom (me and tasha). you can't pick anything up without a ton of other things falling over. James is having a hard time adjusting to our addition in the household. He doesn't understand why he can't watch sports center all the time and why he has to let Dylan watch cartoons every once in a while. He also doesn't understand why our cabinets are all of a sudden filled with little people food. Obviously it's because we have little people in the house. duh anywho...

i was driving home from school monday afternoon listening to my Shane and Shane clean cd. i've listened to this CD at least 50 times and for some reason this song just hit me this time:

there is none like you
no one else can touch my heart like you do
and i could search for all eternity long and find
there is none like you

One of the many reasons that God is so awesome is because he is so unique. There is truely no one like Him. No one loves like Him, cares like Him and can do the things that He does. That's a cool thought.

Random thought:I hate wearing white because I always seem to get something on it.

I started my job at the day care yesterday. OMGosh it was crazy. I'm supposed to have the afterschool children but there were two teachers out yesterday so I had the 2 yr olds class. Then at about 4 the one year olds combined with our class. It was madness. But fun nonetheless. The kids were roudy but hilarious. There was one kid who had a line straight down the back of his head~one half of his hair was bright red and the other half was dark brown. His eyelashes were even different colors. It was sooooo cool. But I really think I'm gonna like workin' there.

Time to go get my learn on in Sociology class

big gold ealge on the hood trans-am chariot

2005-11-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

It's been a pretty good week. I got my TB test done Tuesday so I can start working at the day care soon. I had to turn down the job at Old Navy because the day care fit my schedule better. Anywho...I'm really excited about it. Bill and Tasha start moving in today~so it's gonna be a busy weekend. Sunday afternoon I have a baby shower to go to for a girl that I went to high school with. It seems like everyone is having a baby these days! I had a test in my criminal justice class that I did not study for at all...I didn't get home until 2am wednesday night and was so busy yesterday that when i finally sat down at 8 last night i crashed and didn't wake up til 6 45 this morning. Hopefully the test will go ok.

I love this time of year. I got to my car Wednesday after class~and after my mile long walk to the street i park on~to find my car covered in brown, red and orange leaves. It was so pretty I just wanted to take a picture of it..but of course I didn't have my camera with me. I'm gonna have to start carrying it with me wherever I go. We had some guy move into the house next door to mine and every time i see him he whistles at me or waves or something. I don't know if it's sweet or creepy~cuz he's not old or anything. Anywho...I know that was random but it's part of my charm. It got cold...really really cold today. I'm not sure if I like it. I wish the weather would just stay one way.

I'm having to downgrade to a twin bed after the familia moves in because Kallista is sleeping in my room. my closet meets my brother's closet so i told him that if she starts crying i'm just gonna throw a boot into my closet to wake them up. I don't think he liked that idea very much. We're gonna have 7 people in our house. ahhhhhhhhhhhh it's gonna be so stressful.

I locked myself in my bedroom yesterday and listen to Gretchen Wilson for about an hour~she's awesome. She's so....not fake. She knows who she is and not only does she accpet...she's proud of it. I wish we could all be like that. The world would be a lot happier. I stopped by the KP last night to see Amanda before I had to go get my mom from work and we had some interesting talks. I'm not gonna give any more details...but just pray for her.

Time to go to class~peace out!

fall out boy!!!!

2005-11-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

I got the Fall Out Boy cd and I love it!!!! It's been in my cd player for like the past week. I got my hair cut last Thursday. It's a little shorter with more layers in it. I like it...and so does everyone i've seen (or at least they told me they do). This week is gonna be a busy one for me..my brother and his girlfriend are moving into our house this weekend. Which means the baby will be there all the time! I'm really excited but it's gonna take a lot to find room for everyone. the baby comes with a lot of accessories. good news...I made a B on my critical thinking test!!! i raised my grade a whole 23 points. I also got a new job!! haha but I think I'll stick with this one for a while. I got a job at Old Navy in Gastonia. I'm super excited about working there...especially for the discounts.!!! I still have no headlights...but hopfully I'll get some sometime this week. I can't count how many times I've been flipped off for burning my brights all the time. It seems like everyone went out of town this weekend. Pat went to Columbia, Betsy went to the Mountains with the church, and Murphy went to Fla with her uncle. So Lamphear and I sat in Gastonia all by ourselves with nothing to do and a key to Pat's apt. hehehe. But we decided not to play any pranks on him. Mostly because we were afriad of how he would get us back. Anywho...I know this was a random post but I have to go study for a Scoiology test. So in closing...here's what I've learned this week. I don't think that I actually learned it for the first time...but I was just reminded of it: God's always there...whether you want him to be or not. He's never gonna leave you and I think that's AWESOME.

awesome weekend

2005-10-31T10:15:00.000-05:00

I had such an awesome weekend. I was really bummed at first about not being able to go down to SWU for homecomming...but man...God is just so awesome. Saturday I spent the entire day with Betsy and Patrick. We went to RO's for lunch and then to the mall to but some things for Betsy's gypsy costume. She looked too cute. After that we headed to Catawba Heights to set up for the coffee house later that evening. Then everyone got dressed up in our costumes. ( I was Daisy Duke~without the short shorts, Betsy was a gypsy, Lauren was a beauty queen, Amanda was Frenchie, Brian was Danny, Matt was an old man and Rey was his wife) We had an excellent time of worship and awesome food. Variation 180 and Blaze were the two bands that led and they rocked. After that everyone (minus pat and betsy) went to IHOP to eat more food. I rode with Lauren and Zach and we had so much fun together just talking and laughing. There ended up being like 30 of us in IHOP.

Sunday I spent most of the day with my mom. After she went to work Betsy and Patrick came over and then we all headed out to a play he was in at his church. It's amazing to see what God has done in his life. I went to high school with him and if anyone would have told me that we would be best friends right now I would have laughed. He was kind of a jerk, he did drugs and partied all the time. A few months ago God completely changed his life and he hasn't touched drugs or alcohol since then. The play he was in was called Rapture and it was awesome. Three of the girls that went with us aren't saved, but hopefully the play touched them. After the play, Pat set it up for one of our friends to talk to one of the pastors at the church (who ironically played satan in the play) I don't know what he said to her or how he said it, but something in their conversation spoke to her. She knows now that she needs to make a decision, she just needs to be ready to make it. I don't know what she's holding on to that's keeping her from making the decision, but just pray that she gives it up to God.

For now I need to get some studying donw before my next class.

head cold

2005-10-26T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm sick wtih a cold this week which really stinks because I have 2 tests on Friday and no motivation to study for them at all. Last night was fun~Betsy picked me up and we went to the KP to hang out with Amanda. For those of you who are not from Gastonia, the KP stands for the Kendrick Pantry which is a gas station on Kendrick Road. My friend Amanda works at this gas station. Anywho...we stayed for about an hour. Murph was there and she told us all about her 5 car pile up on I85. She was proud to be the only one rushed to the hospital. But don't worry, she's fine. She came out of the wreck with a bruise on her collar bone from the seat belt and a cracked rib. Thankfully it wasn't more serious. She's a trooper. I'm so sad that I don't get to go to SWu's homecomming this weekend. I was really looking foward to seeing all of my friends again. But I really don't feel safe driving my car down there right now.

My mom and I had a long talk about my dad yesterday. She told me stories about things they did on dates and the sweet romantic things he used to do for her. I knew they loved each other, but I never knew that they were so in love with each other. My mom told me that my dad was her best friend and no matter how bad things got, they always seemed to get better whenever my dad came around. She felt safe with him...like nothing bad could ever happen to her. I feel so bad for her now that he's gone. I don't think she'll ever find a love like that again.

We also had a long talk about me and where my life was going. I sometimes forget how smart my mother is. She told me that she was so proud of the young woman I have become and she no longer looked at me as her child, but more like her friend. She told me she knew God had great plans for me and all I needed to do was listen to His calling for my life. I get discouraged sometimes becuase I don't know what it is but I just need to keep listening. She also told me that sometimes I need to just shut up. My prayers often turn into me telling God what my calling should be. Instead I need to shut up and listen to what God has to say.

But now I need to head to sociology.

Baby girls

2005-10-25T18:11:00.000-04:00

I spent the whole weekend with my 5 month old neice Kallista this weekend. She is so much fun to keep. Sunday I got her all dressed up for church in a black and pink outfit...she looked sooo cute.

My college bible study is having a Halloween coffee house this saturday night. Variation 180 is playing, and we're going to have all kinds of halloween carnival type games. Betsy and I thought about going together as Flip and Flop (you know flip flops) but we didn't have time to find a costume. She's going as Sandra Dee and I'm either going as a flapper or a gypsie. I can't deicide. Last night the group made dinner for the patients at Sisters House of Mercy in Blemont. It's a home for people with AIDS. I sat for about an hour and talked to a man named Richard about his life and the things he experienced. I never knew until last night just how sheltered from the world I have been. Some of the things he has done or gone through in his life I had never heard of. I'm even more thankful of my family and of the many things God has blessed me with. I'm also really happy that God led me to this small group. I was so bummed about leaving SWU and not seeing all of my friends every day. But God placed in my life a new group of friends who are on fire for God and living their lives for Him every day.

One more thing...I made a B on my Criminal Justice test. I have 2 more tests this week~actually both on Friday. Pray that I do well! xoxo jen*

shaving cream and headlights

2005-10-19T10:19:00.000-04:00

Two weeks til SWU's homecomming and I am so excited. I have 45 minutes before my next class and I have one of the worst headaches I have ever had. All I want to do is crawl in a hole and stay there. Anywho...
I watched the newest episode of Laguna Beach with my mom last night and she was cracking me up. It's so cute how shegets really into it and start yelling at the TV. My other headlight in my car went out so now I have a total of 0. I asked me mom when she realized it was out and she said "when i turned them on and still couldn't see a damn thing" Aww my mommy...for some reason it's cute when she cusses. I told Amanda that my mom was a trooper for all the things she goes through and Amanda siad "well actually she's more like a mini-trooper" hahahah gotta love amanda
i fell asleep at Patrick's house last night and woke up at about 12 with shaving cream and a video camera in my face. That was lovely.
time to go crawl in my hole. peace out

mousetraps

2005-09-28T10:09:00.000-04:00

i got pulled over for my broken headlight last night AGAIN. I had already gotten pulled over for it this weekend in Anderson...but to make things worse this time I got a ticket for my tag being expired. My mom was kind of mad at me about it but what can I do? I honestly did not know my tag was expired because my dad always took care of that stuff. But anywho...I don't have to pay a fine if I get my new registration by October 19. So I guess the cop was nice to me but still...

I got a new job yesterday at the big Dollar Tree near the old Walmart in Gastonia. This works out great because I'll save a lot of money on gas. I didn't go in there intending to get a job...I went looking for mousetraps. But it just so happens that the manager was the only one available to help me locate the mousetraps so when I approached him I said "Can I have some mousetraps and a job?" He was impressed with my outgoing personality and offerred the job to me on the spot. Now I have to complete the task of turning in my notice today when I go to work at Lifeway.

Anywho...that's all for now~time to study for a sociology test!

SWU

2005-09-26T10:08:00.000-04:00

I had such a fun time at SWU this weekend. Friday night I ate tacos is the apt with Jenn and Ansley...then we went to Anderson for a bit. Saturday I went to Anderson to see Michael~a guy that I worked with at Lifeway down there. The visit was very awkward but I'm glad I got to see him. Then Jenn, Ansley Eric and I went back to Anderson to eat and do a lil' shopping for Jenn's birthday. Saturday night I went bowling with the school. There was a 70's theme. Matt Bentley wore the greatest mullet wig. I stink a bowling but it was fun to get to see everyone again. After bowling me, Kelly, Kristie, Brady, Russell, Jennie and Justin all went to eat at Huddle House. We didn't get back til like 2 30 in the am. After talking to Camie and Christie for a bit I finally went to bed about 3 30. Sunday morning I went to ALIVE. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the service. After church I spent some more time with Camie then went home. Going there for the weekend made me not so bummed about being home this semester. I love it down there but I know that this is where God wants me to be. I'm sooo happy that I get to be with my family and watch my little neice grow up. I hope to be back down at SWU one day because I love and miss all my friends there so much but I'm happy here right now.

melted cheese and french fries

2005-09-07T10:09:00.000-04:00

I really miss SWU and all my friends down there. I like being able to stand on one side of campus and look at the other. My neice is already 4 months old. She has got to be the cutest thing I have ever seen...but then again I could be a little biased. I've gotten involved in a college bible study at a near by church and I am really enjoying it. Monday we all went out to eat at O'Charlies and I ordered the potato soup which is USUALLY rather tasty. However, this time it tasted like melted cheese and it had french fries in it instead of pieces of potato. I was very disappointed. Anywho...I'm starting to enjoy Charlotte a little moreeach day. There is always something to do and there are so many people to meet here. But God has definately removed me from my comfort zone. At SWu it was nothing to see someone in a Christian t-shirt or to see someone just sitting around reading their Bible. I wore a Christian t-shirt one day last week and recieved a few strange looks as I walked to my classes. I have to admit that there were times when I wanted to just change clothes so that I could blend in with everyone else and didn't stand out in the crowd. But then I remember that God isn't ashamed of me and I have no reason to be ashamed of Him.

Anywho...my birthday is comming up and I am super excited. I have no idea what I want to do yet but I have a feeling my mom has something up her sleeve.

This next couple of weeks are gonna be really hard for me and my family. It was around this time last year that we all found out that my dad's kidneys were failing. It's been almost a year since he has died and it still feels like he was just here. Please pray for my family as we face these next couple of weeks.

That's all for now x's and o's~jen*

nothing to do between class...

2005-08-29T10:09:00.000-04:00

1. Initials: JLM
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Amanda
3. Where was your first kiss?: on a bridge
5. Are you homophobic?: nope
6. Are you bisexual?: nope....thats gross
7. Do you believe in God?: yup
8.How many US states have you been to?: 8
9. How many of the US states have you lived in?: Just one.1
0. Have you ever lived outside the US?: nope
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: my eyes
12. Name something non physical you like about yourself: hmmm...i guess i'm pretty nice
13. Where do you want to go to retire?: florida
14. What is your dream car?:today...a land rover
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: romania
16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone?: yeah
17. How many concerts have you gone to?: gosh I don't know....at least 10
18. Do you download music?: no
19. How many illegal things have you done?: hmmmm...i guess three
20. Where would you want to go on a first date?: I don't know....I guess it depends....
21. Describe your perfect date: just to have a wonderful time, to laugh a lot...I love to laugh...and to be able to carry conversation....I hate that awkward silence
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?: yeah
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?: nope
24. Do you like president Bush?: heck yes i do
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?: nope
26. Have you ever white-water rafted?: yes
27. Have you ever crashed a car?: nope...but I've been in a car crash
28. Has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you?: yes.....ewwww
29. Have you met a real redneck?: i come from a long line of them
30. Are you interested in anyone right now?: yeah
31. What song are you listening to right now?: "Play something country"~Brooks and Dunn
32. What is your current favorite song?: gosh...."Hick Town"~Jason Aldean
33. What was the last movie you watched?: something on lifetime
34. Who was the last person you said you loved?: my mommy
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?:work
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?: no
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?: yeah
38. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?: yes
39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: clothes
40. What really turns you on about the opposite sex?: clothes~i like guys with a sense of style
41. What do you usually order from starbucks?: caramel or mocha Frappucino
42. What is your biggest mistake?: i dunno
43. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?: no
44. Say something totally random about you: i have nine dogs
45. Do you have an i-pod? nope but I want one
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?: yes~kelly clarkson...but i disagree
47. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?: yeah sometimes
48. Do you have braces?: used to
49. Are you comfortable with your height?: for the most part
50. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?: i guess buy me flowers
51. When do you know it's love?: I'm not really sure....I've never been in love
52. Do you speak any other languages besides English?:some spanish and a few romanian phrases
53. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?: yeah
54. What magazines do you read?: none
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?: Yeah...a crappy one for the prom LoL
56. Has anyone you were really close with pass away?: my daddy
57. Do you watch MTV?: yes
58. What's something that really annoys you?: people who don't say thank-you when i open doors for them
59. What's something you really like?: playing with my neice
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?: ewwwwwwww....NO
61. Can you dance?: nah
62. Have you ever surfed?: no but I want to
63. Do you know how to pump gas?: yes
64. Do you drive?: yes
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?: 6 in the morning...2 hours before a final ha ha

UNCC

2005-08-24T10:08:00.000-04:00

So things at UNCC are going pretty well. I really miss the family-like atmosphere at SWU though. My classes are pretty good and I'm working on getting into a Philosophy class. The discussions in the classrooms are very interesting because there are so many different kinds of people with so many different kinds of views. I'm really excited to see how God is going to use me this semester. One of my classes is bigger than last year's entire freshman class at SWU!!! Definately something I have to get used to. I'm starting to make some good friends here...but I still miss my SWU girls. I'm glad I decided to stay home this semester. I'm really enjoying the time I get to spend with my mom and brothers. We have all grown a lot closer over the summer since I have been home. The baby is doing wonderful. She's now 3 months old!!! I can't believe it. She's so much fun to have around. The only bad part about not living on campus is that between classes I don't have a dorm to go back to. But I'm getting used to it. Anywho...hope everyone has a great day!!!!~ xoxo jen*

Moving

2005-07-25T20:15:00.000-04:00

Man oh man am I stressed out. I never knew how hard moving could be. 7 days until I am living in my own apartment. I have so many things to do until then. Kallista is growing like crazy. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen and I love her to death. Amy's wedding was absolutley beautiful. She looked amazing in her dress. Kelly looked awesome in her bridesmaid dress too. I had so much fun catching up with some of the guys from SWU. I am so bummed that I can't go back...but excited about the adventure waiting for me at UNCC. Hannah and I got a cat. His name is Jimbo and he is sooo cute. We found a book that tells you how you can make your cat use to toilet so you don't have to have a litter box...but neither of us want the cat using our bathroom so I think we're just gonna stick with the litterbox. We went shopping the other day after having lunch at Cracker Barrell and bought a vacuum cleaner! We were so excited. It is banana yellow. LoL. I'm so ready to move out that I can't stand it. I never knew how different it would be living with my mom again after being away for a few months at SWU. Not that she's hard to live with...it's just different. Anywho...I'm stoked about living in a big city and I got a job working at Lifeway in Charlotte. This is the third Lifeway store I have worked at this year. I just transfer depending on where i live at the time. My house has become a much happier place since the baby has been born. It's amazing how much joy she brings to our lives. I think she is just what we needed to make us happy again since my dad died. We all made it through Father's Day alright. THe one who had the hardest time with it was my oldest brother Keith. But anywho...time to get back to packing. Hope everyone has a great week! xoxo jen*

Miss me?

2005-06-09T14:11:00.000-04:00

I realize it's been almost 2 months since my last post. I will try to so better from now on. My summer has been amazing. The baby was finally born and she is georgous. Her name is Kallista Bryanna and I love her to pieces. Right now I'm working two babysitting jobs and looking for a more permanant job in Charlotte. Due to financial circumstances beyond my control I will not be able to return to SWU next year. Instead I will be living in an apartment in Charlotte with my best friend Hannah and attending UNCC. I will surely miss my SWU friends. Anywho...I am babysitting as we speak so I guess I should get back to "work." haha Hope everyone has a great day! xoxo jen*

Benedict XVI

2005-04-19T13:39:00.000-04:00

There's a new Pope! How exciting. Anywho... right now I'm sitting at workstudy, which is where I will be sitting for the next 3 hours. I just had a huge foot and flip flop fight with Jeffry. That was a great stress releaver. I'm talking about my mission trip to Romania tonight at SMF. Ohers will be speaking about mission trips too. Should be exciting. I was planning on going home tonight for Revival but it's not this week, it's next. Oh well. Just one more week and then I can go home. I'm so ready to spend some time at home. I haven't been home in a while. I miss my mom and my dog. Hannah and I are supposed to go out next time I'm home. I can't wait. Especially since she's a single woman again. It should be fun. But for now...I'm going to get back to "work" Hope everyone has a great day! xoxo jen*

Camping and Benedryl

2005-04-13T12:57:00.000-04:00

This last week has been great. Friday Jenn, ANsley, SHerry and I went camping at Table Rock. We got the primitive site...no bathroom or running water...not even a plave to park the car. We has to park it in the parking lot and hike to the site with all of our stuff. We video taped the entire thing. We went hiking along this creek and played in the water for a while. As we were trying to start a fire we saw a baby cyote. So we went and got in our tent. Apparently it smelled the food that Sherry threw out into the woods. The nest day we went hiking again and played in more water. Now because of all our fun in the water we're all sick.

I took some benedryl last night to help me sleep better and apparently I was doing some pretty funny things in my sleep. I have to go home this weekend to look for jobI'm not looking foawrd to that. I can't believe that in 3 1/2 weeks I'll be done with my first year in college. Man it's been a crazy one. I've grown up more in these last few months than I had in al my 17 years before comming here. Hopefully next year I'll get to experience a normal year here. I'll get to feel like a normal college kid. One that's happy. I'm just so tired of being so sad and angry all the time. The baby still hasn't come yet. We're all still waitin'. But for now I have to get back to work. Hope everyone has a blessed day. xoxo jen*

National Champs!!!

2005-04-06T22:49:00.000-04:00

Although I did not watch the game...I am super happy that UNC won. This has been a pretty good week. The baby shower on Sunday went great. It was so much fun and Tasha got some great things for the baby. School has gone pretty well...except for the Dave Summy tragedy. That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. From watching my mom over the last few months I know some of what his wife will be going through. So everyone remember her and the rest of his family in your prayers. I spoke to the auxilary board on Tuesday morning. I shared my testimony with them and it went great (if you ever wanna hear it just ask) . After I was done speaking the ladies asked me some questions and then prayed for me. It was amazing to be surrounded by so many sisters in Christ. I'm so glad God led me here. He has blessed me so much.

Well I'm still feelin' pretty down about my dad. I honestly don't know when I'll ever be truely happy again. I almost feel guilty for smiling without him being here. It seems unfair that I get to continue living and he doesn't. It also seems unfair that other pelople have their dads. My dad will never get to walk me down the aisle, or hold the first grandchild that I give him. I feel like he wasnt done raising me yet. Like I haven't yet learned everything he was supposed to teach me. I don't know how to garden, I haven't learned to drink buttermilk yet, I can't split wood and I still don't know everything there is to know about football. But I can wash dishes and make sme darn good sweet tea if I do say so myself. Maybe because I've been making it since I was 10. I know my dad was proud of me...he told me all the time. I remeber last summer right before I was supposed to leave for Romania, he sat me down in the kitchen and told me he was very proud of me for going. He also said he was proud of the beautiful young woman I had become. It just makes me so sad that he wont be here to see me accomplish anything else. It was important for him to tell me he was proud that I was going because for a long time he didn't want me to go. So that meant a lot. But anywy...time to go to bed

Baby update

2005-04-01T17:31:00.000-05:00

Well it looks as if the baby can come any minute now. Tasha had to go to the hospital again last night with 25 contractions an hour that registered 12. The baby has moved extremely low and we can tell she's ready to come out. Tasha thinks she'll be born by the end of next week. So all we can do is wait. Wait and pray that the baby is healthy. In the meantime...the baby shower is Sunday and I'm so excited. I love baby showers. The food is always good. And this time it will be my neaice that is getting all the presents. That's gonna be fun. It's gonna be wierd having a baby around the house. I'm the youngest in my family so I've never had one around all the time. I guess I finally have to give up my "baby of the family" title.

I've been really down the last couple of days. I'm not really sure why. Easter was hard for me. Even though I had a great time...I wanted my daddy. And now I just want my daddy. I want to talk to him and hug him and have him fuss at me. I miss him so much right now I can't stand it. I know we're supposed to trust God through everything but it's hard when I feel as if God is so far away from me. It feels as if there is nothing to helo me get through this. Like everyone has forgotten about the situation because I keep a happy face on all the time. But for now just pray for me. I think having the baby come will be both happy and sad. Hapy that she's here, and sad that she never gets to meet her grandpa, and her grandpa never gets to hold her. Hope everyone has a great day.

Horrible Dream

2005-03-29T16:09:00.000-05:00

I had the most horrible dream last night. I dreamed (is that the right way to say it?) that my dad had come back to life for a day and then had another heat attack. My family and I had to go through the whole process of him dying and the funeral and everything all over again. It was so sad I woke up crying. I had to call my mom and have her tell me everything was going to be ok and that wont happen. She made me feel better. But I have still had this eerie feeling all day because of tat dream.

It's such a pretty day outside. I wish I could be sitting out in the sunshine but instead I'm inside at workstudy. I'm getting really excited about the summer. I have no clue what I'll be doing yet besides moving and the baby comming, but I'm ready to spend a lot of time at home. My mom's birthday is comming up. Everyone be praying for her. Then two weeks later is my dad's birthday and the week after that is their anniversary. Needless to say this is going to be a hard springfor my family. If my dad were alive right about now he would be outside tending to his garden. Then he would go inside and make himslef a tomato sandwich and sit out on the front porch and watch the sunset. Man I miss him. I think knowing that he's in heaven and is no longer suffering is heping me make it through each day. We had a storm at my house over the weekend that woke me up and I just laid in bed and thought about my dad. He used to deliver papers at 3 every morning and when it would storm I woulnd't be able to sleep until he got home. This weekend I just thought about how he wasn't out there delivering papers anymore and I didn't have to worry about him getting hurt anymore. Knowing that brought a smile to my face.

Ken Dill asked me to share my testimony with the Baord of Trustees next week. I'm kinda nervous because I've never really thought about my testimony. I know I have one but I've never really thought about what it is and how to share it vocally. I'm still living my testimony. Everything that happens to me each day is a part of my story. And I don't know how to shorten 18.5 years into 15 minutes. So be praying for me because as much as I love to talk, being in front of a group of people terrifies me.

I have to work at Lifeway tonight after I get off of workstudy. I'm kind of looking foward to it. I like going to work. It makes me feel good to know that I'm earning money. But I still have a lot of work I need to get done for school. At least I have all day 2morrow to do it all. If i can find the motivation. Spring fever has set in and now I see no need to attend class or sit in the library and work.

I'm finding out how hard it is for me to give things over to God. I still hold on to the mentality that I have to be strong and not cry and fix all of my problems myself. That's not healthy. I'm slowly realizing that its ok to cry...it's not something be embarrassed about. And it's ok to tell God how I feel. I don't have to put on a happy face or a smile for God because he sees right through it anyway. And pretending doesn't strengthen my relationship with him at all.

Time to get back to "work." Hope everyone has a great day! xoxo jen*

2005-03-26T18:52:00.000-05:00

Today has been a pretty good day. I got up around 10 and helped my mom out at the house a lil' bit. Then me her and my brother james drove down to my dad's land and looked around his old house for a while. It was so much fun. James gave me a tour of the house and told me who lived where and things he used to do when he would come down there. I don't remember anyone living there or ever visiting there when people did live there. My mom tells me I did but I was like 2 or something. She told me stories about things I used to do there too. It was crazy to see how my dad grew up because they didn't have electricity put in there until the 60's when they knew they couldnt live without it. And for a while they didn't have a bathroom. It's so sad though because some teenagers that live near us started going down there and completely trashing the place. They broke everything and knocked things over and wrote all over the walls. There are all kinds of obscenities written on them. The wood from the floors is still good so we decided to use it for the floors in our house. Jame's dream is to build a house down there. We walked down to the creek where my dad used to swim and just stood there. It was so quiet and peaceful...I would love to have that as my backyard. It was great. It was so much fun learning about how my dad grew up because it was so different than the way I was raised. He had it so hard. He was born during the middle of the Depression and told me once that if it weren't for papers...his parents wouldn't have even known there was one because they always had it extremely hard. But they were happy so I guess that;s all that matters. There's some really great furniture that's still at the old house. I claimed some of it for my future home. Later one today we had a cookout at my brother Bill's house. Some of his friends were over. Dylan and I had a talk about breaking dates. (Dylan is Tasha's 5 yr old son) I was supposed to take him to the museum yesterday and walk on the nature trail with him but he decided to go to his dad's house instead. Then James tried to teach me how to play baskettball. No I've enver played before and yes I know that's extremely sad. The experience would have made a good video for stupidvideos.com. Anyway....now I'm gonna go spend some time with my mother. Hope everyone has a great day! xoxo jen*

finally home!~

2005-03-24T20:00:00.000-05:00

I finally made it home for Easter and I'm sooo happy to be able to spend some time with my mom. Today was such a pretty day. I didn't go to my English class today at 1 10 so I sat outside with a big group of ppl and enjoyed the sunshine for about 2 hours. It was so nice. We had the greatest time laughing and playing and praying with each other. It's so nice to have friends that I not only hang out with but I can pray with them too and I know that they really care about me. Just another sign of how much God loves us. :D. Tomorrow I'm getting up and going to Cracker Barrell for breakfast with my mom and one of her friends and then we get to take a bunch of Build-a-Bears to the pediatric ward at the hospital I think. I could be wrong so don't quote me on that. Then my mom and I are going for a walk on the nature trail at the museum. I'm so excited. I've started saving some money. I decided that after I graduate college I want to take a year off and travel. Maybe spend some months in Romania and some time in Spain. Spain will give me a chance to practice my espanol. Traveling for a year is something I've always wanted to do...and I really want to visit a Spanish speaking country. I wont be going to Romania this year and I'm pretty bummed about that. I just don't feel as if it's where God wants me to be right now. I have too many things at home that I'm dealing with. Plus my mom and I are going to be concentrating on moving out and the baby will be here before we know it. Speaking of...Tasha is doing fine. Continue to pray for her throughout the rest of her pregnancy. I'm so excited about having a new baby neice. And pray for my brother. He's opened up and asked me questions about being a Christian and going to church and such. It would be such an awesome thing if Bill were to get saved because of the example set by my father. And all of the questions he asks relate to my daddy. That's so exciting and encouraging. But now I'm gonna go spend some time with my mother. Maybe we'll watch Lifetime or something. Hope everyone has a great Easter!!!!! xoxo jen*

GOSH!

2005-03-23T15:39:00.000-05:00

Today has been a really hard day for me. I've just been really down today. I'm ready to be home for Easter. I can't wait to spend some time with my mom. I miss her a lot. After Easter I wont be able to go home for a while because of work. I'm finally being forced into getting used to this place. I have to work from 5 to close tonight but I dont think it will be that bad. I'm leaving to go home at about 4 2morrow and we get there around 6. My mom said she's gonna cook me a big dinner. That will be nice. I haven't had real food in a long time. But I guess I'd better get back to "work". Hope everyone has a great day!~ xoxo jen*

I can't think of anything witty to put here...

2005-03-22T12:56:00.000-05:00

So I had to work last night and spent the entire time with Michael. We cleaned these little glass things that have gifts on them. The only reason it was fun is because Michael was there helping me. We had a talk last night after work for about an hour. We've established that there is something between us but for now we are just friends. We both have things that we are dealing with. And I'm very content with being his friend...i think. We had one of those gofy conversations about what we liked about each other. He said I had beautiful eyes :D and he likes how I care about people. He made me blush. :P I really like how passionate he is for Christ. That's awesome. And I like the fact how he's real. He doesn't try to impress anybody. Ok ok enough gushing....

We went to Green Street last night with Aj and Eric. AJ was all about goin' in those houses and checkin' them out. Ansley and I sat in the car most of the time. At one point I tried to leave them but AJ and Eric jumped on the hood of the car. AJ found a bed in the buildings behind one of the houses. That was a little creepy so then we just went and hung out on the bridge for a while. Once again AJ wanted to check out what was underneath it and found a jacket and some Spam. We waited for the train for a while and it never came so we just went back to school. I stayef up late last night...well late for me since apparently I'm an old woman. I can't help it if i need my sleep!~ I went to bed about 12 30 and didn't fall asleep til about 1 30. That's late for me. But now I need to go write a paper. Hope everyone has a great day!~

Ring 2~and Cheesits

2005-03-19T22:18:00.000-05:00

I saw Ring 2 last night and it was amazing. I wont give it away but there are many different thigns that have to be figured out in the movie. Michael from work invited me to go and I have realized something...he's wonderful. He's the biggest dork I have ever met but I can't get enough of him. He's so talented~he plays guitar, bass, drums, viola, cello and paino..and he sings!~ I love it when guys play guitar and sing. I got to work with him tonight for an hour, which was spent putting up cd's. We were kinda slow so we got to talk a lot which was good. Some of his friends from church came in and he introduced me to them. They were really cool. pretty much like the people I hang out with. OK now I'll stop raving about wonderful Michael.

I've realized a lot of things about myself lately....mostly thanks to my roommate. I hold too much in and don't express my feelings. No one really knows me...you all just know one side of me. I'm afriad to show the other side. The side that's scared and angry and a tad bit self-conscious. I'm not sure how to show this side because I don't know how people will react to it. I've been praying about it and I ask whoever reads this to pray for me too. I'm still dealing with a lot of crap right now.

TGIF!!!

2005-03-18T11:35:00.000-05:00

Well I spen half of the week sick...but now it's Friday and payday and I feel great!!! I have to be at work at 1 30 then I'm goin' shoppin' in G-ville with the girls. How exciting huh? I'll actually be staying here this weekend...for the entire weekend. I've been thinkin' a lot lately about the relationships that I have with people. I feel as if a lot of the people here that I call friends aren't really my friends. I just have superficial relationships with them. There's never anything deeper and that bothers me. Now a lot of these people are no more than aquantainces. I've been praying a lot about it and I still don't know what to do. Can't wait to get off work tonight and spend time with the girls!~ I have to work 2morrow night too but Sunday it's supposed to be 70 degrees outside and I can't wait to spend the entire day outside. Hope everyone has a good day!~ xoxo jen*

Pretty Good Week...so far

2005-03-15T13:35:00.000-05:00

Well it's only Tuesday, but the week has been pretty good so far. I had to work til 9 30 last night, but thankfully we didn't have any crazy people come in. Today the only thing I have accomplished out of the many things I needed to get done is showign up for workstudy. I still need to work on my research paper and a report for NEw Testament. After work I plan on going to work out with Ansley. That should be fun. My computer is brokend...again. I'm finally done with my dotctor appointments. I think I have one more in like 3 weeks or so. I am still getting better and better on how much I can eat. The doctor told me that in all I have lost 18 lbs. I was shocked. But now I'm gonna work on homework. Hope everyone has a great day!~ xoxo jen*

Mixed up emotions

2005-03-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

This has been one crazy week. home and went straight to the hospital to see Tasha, who is now out of the hospital and is doing wonderful. I left the hospital around 6 or so and when I got home my mother told me that someone else has died. It was the father of one of my best friends growing up. This man was also one of my dad's best friends. The family lives right down the street from us and I have been a part of their family since I was six years old. I was devestated. I knew I had to be strong for this family and offer as much support as they needed, but it was so hard when I was hurting myself. A lot of old feelings were brought back about my own dad this week. It feels like as soon as I was starting to get better and deal with all of this, I get pushed back to square one and have to start all over. The family asked me to sing at the funeral and I agreed. I will be singing Amazing Grace. Pray that I can make it through. I came back to school Wednesday afternoon and went straight to work. It was pratty fun. Yesterday I went to work and afterwards I went to the movies with Jenn Ansley Eric and my friend Michael from work. We saw Hitch. It was sooooo funny. But now I need to clean the room and head home. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!! And remember the Gragg family!~

AHHHHH

2005-03-08T12:34:00.000-05:00

25 minutes until I can go home. I'm staying at the hospital tonight with Tasha. Everyone pray for her because the baby isn't due until the end of May and she is already in labor. She was given medicine to stop the labor but it only slowed it down so they are keeping her in the hospital until 2morrow. I'm going home to be with her so my brother can go to work tonight. Then it's off to the doctor 2morrow morning. I started working at Lifeway last night. It went pretty well. I didn't get a chance to eat supper so by the time I got off I was starving. I also started taking iron like my doctor said. It makes me really nauseaus in the mornings. I told my mom that every morning when I get up I feel really sick and she asked me if I was pregnant. haha yeah right. not possible. She's so cute. I love my mommy. She said she felt bad about me having to go to the doctor all the time so she said she might take me shopping while I'm home. That would be tons of fun. Sherry set the frog that Dennis gave me up on my bed and made it look like it was high. It was quite funny so I took a picture of it with my phone.

I'm really excited about working at Lifeway. Even though I don't want to go sometimes. It's more than just a store. There have been many times when I have had the opportunity to talk to some really great people. I even get to witness to some people. Getting to do so is an awesome experience. One time at the Gastonia Lifeway I had the opportunity to stand in the middle of the store and pray with a man whose parents both had cancer and neither were Christians. Both of us had tears streaming down our faces. The people who work in the Anderson Lifeway are really laid back and easy to work with. I felt at home last night and it was only my first day. I'm so glad God has given me the chance to work there. I work again 2morrow and then for a few hours on Friday. THe only problem is a couple days I go straight from workstudy to work and have no time to study at all. Hopefully my grades wont suffer too bad.

Hope everyone has a great day!~ And please pray for Tasha!~

I need your help!~

2005-03-07T12:59:00.000-05:00

After talking with a doctor about the things I'm going through, I've been advised to get a lot of sunshine every day. And I need to stop sleeping during the day. Apparently I sleep to avoid whatever it is I have to deal with. The sunshine part is fine, but the sleeping part will be a lot harder for me. My mom says I wake up just to take a nap. I'be gotten behind in my studies because school just isn't fun for me. Nothing is fun for me. All I want to do is sleep. SO I have to fight the urge to sleep all day. I have to learn to deal with what I'm going through after losing my father. I need to find things that I enjoy doing because right now don't really enjoy doing anything. So I need your help. I need all the support I can get to make it through this. I need all of ya'll to pray for me please!~

Carolina

2005-03-06T23:02:00.000-05:00

Carolina won!!!!!~ w00t w00t This makes for a very happy Jennifer. I watched the game with Kelly in her room. She is the most violent and aggressive girl i have ever seen when it comes to basketball. Here's some of the funny crap she said:

~My grandmother could have made that shot
~You're so ugle you can't even make a foul shot!
~I'm about to throw my cell phone
~Frikin' idiot
~GHEY

Hahha gotta love her. I went to see Phantom of the Opera again tonight. It was just as good this time as it was the first time. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision but I'm so glad I got to go. I have to go home this Tuesday for another Doctor appointment. Not fun. Hopefully she'll finally take me off this horrible medicine. We'll ust have to see. In the meantime I start working at Lifeway tomorrow so I'm excited about that. I'll be able to save some money for Romania and have some to spend. I'm kinda glad to be back at school. I was bored a lot over Spring Break. But it gave me a chance to catch up on some much needed sleep. Anyway...gotta hit the sack in order to get up at 7 in the AM!~ Good night all!~

Ansley put this on my phone and it's pretty neat...can u tell what it says???? O B E D ANTS

It's Finally Over

2005-03-05T17:29:00.000-05:00

Spring Break is finally over. My weekend has been busy washing clothes, hunting down lost chapstick and cleaning my room. I finally paid off that speeding ticket. Only one more ticket to go! haha. I have to come back on Tuesday for a doctor's appointment on Wedensday. Then hurry back to school to work wednesday night. The manager at Lifeway finally called me so now I am the newest employee at Lifeway Christian Stores in Anderson. I'm glad I finally got the job because I really need some money. It was finally warm today so I went outside and washed my car. It looks pretty good if I do say so myself. I have a lot of decisions to make about this summer. I know I will be going to Romania but I don't want to spend the rest of the summer working. I want to do something exciting and something that I've never done before. I also really want God to use me this summer. But in the meantime I'm sooooo excited about going to Romania again. I can't wait to get there and play with the gypsies and talk to the old people! I'm hoping to get to work with the youth this summer instead of with the little kids. I love teenagers. I love talking to them, and learning about them. It's so interesting to hear how teenagers in Romania live. And sometimes sad. Last year we had 13 yr old gypsy girls bringing their babies to Bible School with them. I learned that they way they get married is by being raped by the men in the group. Whichever man gets you pregnant is your husband and you have to do whatever he says. There is also a big problem with sex trafficing girls there, and huge problem with overcrowding and orphans. Sometimes woman go to the hospital to have thir babies and just leave them there. THe babies have no home and are forced to live in run down orphanages. No one can adopt them because adoption is banned in the country. It's a life-changing experience to come face to face with people like this. People who live every day just trying to survive without getting beaten, raped or sold. I'm so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to work with these people every year and I hope that something I say or do shows God to these people.

Very Relaxing

2005-02-28T16:30:00.000-05:00

Today has been one of the most relaxting days so far. I woke up around 11 and took a shower only to cahnge into another pair of pj's. I sat in my den curled up in a fleece blanket with a cup of peppermint tea and watched "Sweet Home Alabama" with my dog sitting in my lap. Then I went to the tanning bed which is always relaxing. The bed had new bubls in it so now I am really burned...but it's all good. To end my day I am going to do something productive by cleaning the kitchen for my wonderful mother and then soak in a Sweet Pea sented bubble bath and give myself a pedicure. Life is good today.

Prayer Request~I go to the doctor on Wednesday for a check up on how my medicine is affecting me. I'm hoping she'll take me off of it and put me on something else. Love you all! xoxo jen*

Thought this was cute (and I'm really bored)

2005-02-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

HAVE YOU EVER:~
Snuck out of the house? yeah
Gotten lost in your city? yeah~I have NO sense of direction
Saw a shooting star? yeah,
Been to any other countries besides the United States/Canada? Germany, Romania, Hungary
Had a serious surgery? no~
Gone out in public in your pajamas? I'm in college so I harldy go out in anything But Pajamas
Kissed a stranger? well...been kissed by one (ew)
Hugged a stranger? yeah
~Been in a fist fight? no
Been arrested? nope~
Done drugs? never wanted to~
Had alcohol? yeah
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator? yeah~
Made out in an elevator? yeah
Kicked a guy where it hurts? yeah...it was funny
~Been in love? I thought I was once
Been close to love? no~
Been to a casino? no~
Broken a bone? I think I broke my pinky toe once...but it's so little I couldn't really tell
Been high? sadly, yes i have
Skinny-dipped? yeah
Skipped school? yeah!~
Flashed someone? ha ha..yeah~
Saw a therapist? not yet
Played spin the bottle? yeah
~Gotten stitches? yeah
~Had an IV? yup
~Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour? nope~milk is gross
~Bitten someone? yeah
~Been to Niagara Falls? when I was like 4
~Gotten the chicken pox? yeah
~Kissed a member of the opposite sex? yeah
~Kissed a member of the same sex? on the cheek
~Crashed into a friend's car? nope, just mail boxes
~Been to Japan? nope~
Ridden in a taxi? nope
~Been dumped? yeah...it sucks
~Been rejected? sadly, yeah...but hey who hasn't?
~Shoplifted? nope
~Been fired? nope
~Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex? NO that's GROSS!!!
~Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yeah...and that sucks
~Stole something from your job? nope
~Gone on a blind date? yeah
~Lied to a friend? yeah
~Had a crush on a teacher? YEAH!!! my physics teacher from last year...Mr. Braxton...he looks like Matthew McConaughey!!!
~Celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans? nope
~Been to Europe? Yeah
~Slept with a co-worker? nope
~Been married? nope
~Gotten divorced? nope
~Had children? nope
~Saw someone die? yeah...my daddy
~Been to Africa? nope
~Driven over 400 miles in one day? is Indiana over 400 miles?
~Been to Mexico? nope
~Been on a plane? yeah...and I hated it
~Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show? nope
~Thrown up in a bar? nope
~Purposely set a part of yourself on fire? nope
~Eaten Sushi? i'm afraid of it
~Been snowboarding? nope but I would love to
~Tried killing yourself? nope
~Taken painkillers? yeah
~Love someone or miss someone right now? yeah

TEN Random things about me:

10. I got to hold my dad's hand when he died
09. I love gypsies
08. My mom is my best friend
07. I love to buy shirts from Goodwill
06. I have 11 dogs
05. Phantom of the Opera is the latest love of my life
04. When I get upset I sleep
03. I got two speeding tickets within a week and a half of each other.
04. I love my brothers
03. Me and my roommate have the same name
02. I don't like to share my feelings...therefore no one really knows me
01.I had spagetti for supper tonight

NINE Places I've visited:
09. Indiana
08. Romania
07. Pennsylvania
06. Canada
05. New York
04. Myrtle Beach
03. Holden Beach
02. Kelly's house
01. Germany (well only the airport)

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die:
08. fall in love
07. Get married
06. Meet someone really famous
05. Own a Bishon Friche named Gypsy
04. Learn to play guitar
03. Drive a Ford F-350
02. Travel to a Spanish speaking country by myself
01. Adopt a Romanian

SEVEN Ways to win my heart:
07. Love God
06. Be yourself
05. Tell me I'm pretty
04. Suprise me
03. See Phantom of the Opera with me
02. Take me on a walk
01. Volunteer to do my laundry

SIX Things I believe in:
06. God
05. me
04. true love
03. my friends
02. Life
1. you

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:
05. spiders
04. The future
03. Falling
02. Disappointing someone
01. Losing someone close to me again (althought I know it has to happen sometime)

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
04. my bed
03. My Computer
02. My stuffed frog Dennis bought me named Uncle Rico
01. My photo box

THREE Things I do everyday:
03. pray
02. Shower
01. Talk to my mom

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
02. worry about the future
01. get stressed

ONE Person I want to see right now:
01. My daddy~all I want to do is give him a hug and hear him laugh

At Home

2005-02-26T14:28:00.000-05:00

Now it's officially Spring Break and it has started off pretty good. I got up around 9 this morning and went with my mom to run some errands. One of the things we did was go deliver treat bags to some of the patients ay a nursing home here in Gastonia. It was so much fun because I love old people. A lot of them have cancer or HIV and they were so happy that we came and talked to them and hugged them. I don't think some of the HIV patients have had a hug in a very longs time. It brought a tearm to my eye to see the smile on their faces. So that's how I'm going to spend my Spring Break. Spending time with those people. Talking to them, playing Bingo, reading to them or just sitting there with them. One man there told me that some of these patients never have visitors. That is so sad so I decided to be their visitors while I am home. After we left the nursing home we went grocery shopping and came home and cleaned house. Not extremely exciting but my mom has a way of making everything fun. She cranks up the music and we dance and sing while we clean. I just love spending time with her. But now I'm gonna go watch some TV. Hope everyone has a great day!!!~ xoxo jen*

2005-02-24T18:04:00.000-05:00

Well the history test if finally over. This makes for a very happy Jennifer. Tomorrow I will be leaving for Spring break and I am super excited. Spending an entire week at home with my mother and brother and playing with my dogs. Right now it's about 6 and once again...I slept through dinner. So I'm grumpy hungry adn too poor to go buy anything. Oh well. Nothing else exciting about today. Just getting my things together to go home. Hope everyone has a good one. I must go now and find some food...

I can finally eat!!!

2005-02-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

God news everyone!! I can eat! THe situation is..I got put on a new medicine by my doctor and it made me really sick. The first time I took it i had to go to the urgent care. Not fun. Then it started making me lose my appetite so after I took the medicine (which was right when i woke up) I couldn't eat hardly anything the rest of the day. I started feeling really weak and stuff. Then Sunday I went down to dinner and I ate almost a whole slice of pizza! Then Monday night at dicipleship I ate almost a whole bowl of chicken soup and 3 rolls. Last night I was able to eat a hot dog and some french fries. Praise God that I am finally getting used to this medicine and I can eat now. Continue to pray for me as I take it however, because there are still some wierd side effects from it that I haven't goten used to. Hope everyone has a great day!~ xoxo jen*

Sunny Days

2005-02-22T15:34:00.000-05:00

It's such a pretty day outside and I am stuck behind a desk until 4 30 looking up bad phone numbers fior workstudy. Boo. The thing I want to do most right now is lay outside in the grass, listen to some music while staring up at the sky and finding shapes in the few clouds. Doing this makes me really feel God's presence. I feel surrounded by his love. Days like this make me homesick. I know what you're thinking...everything makes me homesick. But days like this bring back memories of playing in my front yard and climbing trees with my brothers. Or driving home from school in the afternoon and finding my mom and dad sittingon the front porch eating ham sandwiches and talking to one another. As annoying as they were this time last year, I really miss those "Hey darlin' How was your day?" conversations my father used to force me into. I would drop my book bag on the porch and fall into one of the white chairs and tell him everything that happened that day. He would sit there and listen intently while eating his sandwich and then start into another one of his "back when I was your age" speeches. Then I would be snet inside to do the dishes that my mother had already done. Since my housework had been done for me (another indication of how spoiled I was) I would once again join my parents on the porch and listen as they talk about their day. This conversation was usually followed by a discussion over what to have fo supper. Dad always wanted fish, mom always wanted to cook something, and subway was always fine with me. Therefore, as is the Mcginnis was, we would argue. My parents would argue about what to eat and I would tell them to quit arguing. Usually we ended up eating fish. Then I would head to the tanning bed with my father's speeches of cancer and leathery skin ringing in my ears. Now I would cut off my left ear to have him tell me that one more time.

Springtime represent re-birth. I think this Spring will be a rebirth for me. The start of a new life without my father. I will definately think of him every day still, and I'm sure there will still be many days when I cry over him. But I know that my father would not want me or my family to sit around crying all the time. His way of thinking was "move around and you'll be fine. If you sit around all day you'll just feel worse." So I'm gonna start moving around. I'm gonna live my life and be the young woman God created me to be. I'm gonna do things that would make my daddy proud of me. I'm gonna be the young woman he always told me I could be. I'm finally gonna learn to stay away from home (after all he told me he didnt pay all this $ for me to come home every weekend right?) I'm gonna focus more on my schoolwork and make the best grades possible. My dad also told me to be grateful for what I have. God gave me intelligence so the proper way to show my thanks is to use my mind to its full potential.

It's almost time for me to leave work. Hope everyone has a great day! xoxo jen*

Ready for a Break

2005-02-20T19:31:00.000-05:00

I stayed at school this weekend for the first time this semester. And it was sooo wierd. WHen I'm here I constantly have something that needs to be done and a certain time to wake up so I thought I was gonna go crazy Saturday. I did do a service prject with the girls and we had a lot of fun. Last night I went out with a few people and we had a great time. Let me tell you...last night was full of suprises! But it was great. Today I've been working on homework, sleeping and just chillin' in the dorm. I wen tot supper tonight and was actually able to eat. I had a slice of pizza which is an accomplishment since this new medicine I'm on makes me nauseaus and lose my appetite. That slice of pizza is the most I've been able to eat at one time without getting sick after taking that medicine. Praise God because I was starting to make myself sick and get really weak.

I've noticed myself get a little behind on my school work. This isn't good because I need at least a 3.5 gpa this semester to keep my scholarship. So after Spring break I am going to make a fresh start and another attempt at staying on top of things. We'll see how that goes...

Speaking of school work...I guess I'd better get back to reading "A Doll's House." Hope everyone has a good evening!~ xoxo jen*

TGIF!

2005-02-19T00:37:00.000-05:00

Today has been a pretty good Friday despite the fact that everyone seems to be sick. Kelly gave me a copy of the phantom of the opera soundtrack and I looove it. I got to watch Napolean Dynamite once again tonight and laughed my face off. It was so frikin' funny. But now it's time to go to bed because I havea service prject tomorrow with the rest of the girls! Hope everyone has a good night! xoxo jen*

Sick

2005-02-18T13:53:00.000-05:00

It seems as if the whole hall is starting to get the flu. All around the hall at any point in the day you can hear someone coughing, sneezing, groaning, snoring or calling their mommies for advise on getting batter quicker. One of these little darlings happens to be my roommate. Therefore, it is only a matter of time until I get sick as well. On a side note...my doctor put me on medicine for anxiety and it makes me feel very wierd inside. Like, numb. I don't wanna talk to anyone and it seems as if I don't have the ability to show any kind of emotion whatsoever. I don't like this feeling because I am the kind of person that loves to laugh and cry.

hmmmm....

2005-02-14T22:28:00.000-05:00

Upon returning home tonight was told some extremely good news followed by some extremely sad news. The good news...One of my friends got her daddy back. Very long and confusing story full of tragedy and heartache but in the end she got her daddy back. After hearing such happy news and being overwhelmed with joy I then learned that one of my brother's best friends lost his father. His father had been sick with lung cancer for quite a while and died last night. This is a very difficult time for their entire family, and also a very difficult time for my brother. He was extremely close to this friend's dad and this friend's dad made himself available for us when my father passed away. He didn't try to give us adivse on dealing with it, he didn't tell us everything was going to be ok, in fact, he didn't really talk to us at all. Instead he made sure we didn't have to lift a finger. It's hard enough to lose someone in your family, but on top of that you have to be a host to a ton of people for 3 or 4 days. This man did simple things for us like going to the store and buying paper plates and cups and silverware to we didn't have to do dishes. He watched the children in the house so the adults were free to tend to my mother. Small gestures like that spoke louder to me and than any words could have.

So tonight is full of mixed emotions. I'm very glad that my friend got her father back. I'm am sad that my brother's friend lost his father, and hearing the news of his passing brought back all of the feelings from when my father first died. So I'm asking that all who read this will pray. Pray for the rebuilding of a relationship between my friend and her father. Pray for my brother's friend and his entire family. I know from personal experience that they need all the prayer they can get. And continue to pray for me and my family. While it has been 5 months since my father died, we still greive for him every day. Not a day goes by that I don't shed a tear for my dad. He was one of my best friends and I miss him like crazy. I know that right now that he is face to face with God and that is so awesome. But there is still a very selfish side of me that wishes that like my friend, I could have my daddy back.

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T09:55:00.000-05:00

I don't have History today!!! I'm really thankful too because it gives me more time to research for the the debate I have to participate in. Sometimes it's just amazing the way God takes care of us. It's Valentine's Day and although I don't have a Valentine I love this holiday. Everyone seems to be in a good mood and people just love a little more on Valentine's Day. It doesnt have to be the boyfriend/girlfriend kind of love. Just a love between the best of friends. For some reason this holiday makes me appreciate my friends a lot more. So now I'm gonna take a few minutes to tell you about some of my closest friends. I'll begin with my mom. She is one of my best friends. We are exactly alike and we have the kind of bond and love that only a mother and daughter can share. She still guides me and sometimes she still has to dicipline me, but she is the one person on this Earth that I can talk to about anything. She doesn't judge me or condemn me, she just loves me. In spite of all the dumb things I may do at times, she loves me. We laugh together, cry together, shop together and pray together. I don't make a single decision without thinking about her reaction to it. I consult her about EVERYTHING. I think sometimes I get on her nerves with all the questions I ask her. My day doesn't feel complete unless I talk to her. Moving on....Kelly and I have been best friends for about 3 years. In some ways we're completely different and in some ways we're exactly the same. She and her family have become a part of my family. We can pretty much talk to each other about anything and we can even fight like sisters sometimes. And like sisters, no matter how mad we can get at each other I know she loves me and prays for me and the same is true for me. I love you Kelly! And now we come to...my twin. Hannah-nannah and I have been close since our senior year in high school. It's not a very long time but it feels like we have been friends out entire lives. We are exactly alike and what's strange is so are our moms!! They're even the same height. I can always count on Hannah to make me laugh. She can always count on me to help her with her boyfirned problems...whether it's to take her shopping or just sit and let her cry. I can tell she loves GOd with all her heart and I'm so excited to see what God is gonna do through her in the years to come. Now we reach Bekah and Betsy. They are grouped together because you rarely see two of us without seeing the other. We are a strange looking group of friends with quite and age gap, but we all grew up together in church and know almost everything about each other. We were also there to experience a lot of it with each other. When we all got our license, when we all started liking boys adn when we all realized how dumb boys can be at times. These two girls can do anything in the world they want to and I love them soooo much! Now to some of my recent friends. The Pentagon!!!! We didn't name ourselves this, but we seem to live up to the name. Jenn~my roommate and sometimes my spiritual mentor. This chick is so wise and realizes that in spite of all she knows, she still has a lot of growing to do. She always puts others first and is always there when we need her. She's very softspoken and that makes her a great listener. I don't think I could have handpicked a better roommate myself. Sherry and Ansley~The best of friends who are quickly becomming two of my best friends. Sherry is always around to make me laugh. She loves God with all her heart and shows that through the way she lives her life. I am also excited to see how God is going to use her in the years to come and am so happy to have to opportunity to get to know her in the years to come. Ansley is one of the most gifted yet humble girls I kknow. She also puts others before herself. She does everything she possibly can for everyone else. I can see God working through everyday. Last but vertainly not least...Christie. Probably the most outgoing and funniest person in our group. No one could ever replace Christie. She is always around to entertain and I can see that she is growing Spiritaually every day. I can't wait to see how God uses her vibrant and bubbly personality to his glory. I love all you girls!!! And now we come to my best friend of all...God. Although I just recently became a Christian, I can see God working in my life also. I can also look back and see how God took care of me before I was a Christian. I know that God put all of these people in my life for a reason. Now that I am a Christian, I yearn to spend time with God and get to know Him more. I can tell Him anything and am learning how to listen to Him. Listening is a hard thing for me to do. I seem to think I have to take care of everything myself. God realizes this and is constantly helping me become a better listener. I am now getting to the point where my day doesn't feel complete if I don't have my quit time with Him. I love God more than anything and am so excited to see what He has in store for my life.

Now you know a little bit about my friends and why they are special to me. I hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day! xoxo jen*

Oh Wow!~

2005-02-12T21:58:00.000-05:00

I just went and saw Phantom of the Opera tonight and it is one of the best movies I have ever seen!!!! And my mother fell asleep during the middle of it!!!! Apparently it wasn't her favorite. But I absolutely loved it. I didn't cry, but I was still moved by a lot of the scenes and the music is amazing. I definately want the soundtrack. My weekend home has been wonderful and I am almost sad to have to leave tomorrow. I wish I could just stay here until my doctor's appointment on Tuesday. But now I have to get some studying done. Hope everyone has a good night! xoxo jen*

Finally at home!!!!!

2005-02-11T20:55:00.000-05:00

I'm finally at home and I get to spend some time with my family. I'm glad I got to come home because my brother's birthday is comming up and I wont be able to be home to celebrate it with him. Right now I'm really struggling with giving everything up to God. There are just certain things that I still hold on to. So please pray for me everyone. One thing I have really been dealing with lately is the loss of my dad. It's been about 5 months since he died and I miss him like crazy. Almost everything reminds me of him in some wierd way. For example~today I saw a commercial for the new icy hot sleeve and I remeberd buying my dad one for his knee one time and watching him laugh as he put it on because it smelled so bad. It then occured to me that I will never be able to hear his laugh again. Another example~on the way home from school tonight Kelly and I were riding through certain parts of the city and talking about the way it looked when we were little kids. One of my favorite things to do with my dad was ride around Gastonia and have him tell me how the people in it lived when he was my age. He grew up in Gastonia and in 30's and 40's and spent most of his life there. Now we'll never be able to have those moments again when he tells me how spolied I am to have paved roads. It just doesn't seem fair that I had such a great relationship with my dad and all of a sudden he was juust snatched away from me. Even though he was sick his death with still a big shock. There are still times when exciting things happen and the first person I want to tell is him. I even picked up the phone a couple times only to remeber that he wont answer if i try to call. I just pray that God will continue to strengthen and comfort me because even though other people may have forgotten that my dad has died, it still hurts me as much as it did the moment after he died.

Sometimes I hate being a girl!!!!

2005-02-10T20:32:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I really can't stand being a girl. We get moody, feel fat, and cry at random times in our lives. We read way into things too much and try to see things that aren't really there at all. Sometimes is seems like our main goal in life is to find someone who loves us and will spend the rest of his life telling us how much he loves us and how beautiful we are any time we want him too. I'm starting to get tired of this school. I have no place where I can go and be alone, and themore I find out about people the more I see how fake these people really are. Not everyone...some people are actually real, but it seems as if alsmot everyone has a hidden agenda here. But in spite of all of this, I know that this is where God wants me to be. God has a reason for me being here....I just wish I knew what it was!

Goin' Home!!!!

2005-02-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

So I decided to go home this weekend. I think I'm gonna have a long talk with my mom about what's going on with me right now. This just isn't the kind of conversation that can be had over the phone. I'm gonna ride home and back with Kelly. I told my mom about my speeding ticket last night. Suprisingly she wasn't mad. She even offered tp pay for it if I needed her too. Sometimes I wonder why she is so good to me. I deff don't deserve it. But now it's time to get back to work. Hope everyone has a blessed day! xoxo jen*

College Life

2005-02-08T18:50:00.000-05:00

I haven't made up my mind on the whole college life thing yet. I mean I love it here. I love all of my friends and I love my roomate but I just don't know if this is where God wants me to be. My pastor at home told me that if God didn't want me here then he wouldn't have gone through all the trouble to get me here. It's just that even though I'm at the age when most people move out of their homes and go off to school I still feel like I'm not ready to leave my mom yet. Everyday I'm here I wish I was at home playing with my dogs and talking to my mom abou things over a cup of hot chocolate. I think this goes back to when my dad was sick. Right before he died he was really sick for two or three weeks. My brothers and mom spent every moment they could with him and all I could do was talk to him on the phone adn see him on weekends. I still miss my dad like crazy and would give anything to have him back here for just five minutes so I could hug him and tell him how much I love him one more time. Visitation is about to start and my room is a mess so I must go clean it! xoxo jen*